


Coming Home

by marisaaa



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-27 00:21:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6261712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marisaaa/pseuds/marisaaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ali sighed and closed her eyes. 'I thought I was doing the right thing.' 'The right thing?' Ashlyn asked. 'You left without as much as an explanation.' 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'Yeah, so am I".<br/>Set post-ACL injury. Ali comes back from Germany to find out things on the national team have changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

For the first time in almost a year, you walk through the doors of a US Soccer training camp.

 

“It’s good to have you back,” Pinoe exclaims, slapping you on the back as she too passes through the entrance.

 

You smile at her, and try to shake the nerves from your system. Months of operations, setbacks, rehab. Now you’re here- now you can get back into your rhythm and finally get back to playing soccer. You find a spot in the locker room, and begin to change into your uniform for the day.

 

“Long time no see Al,” HAO says, and sets her bag down on the bench next to you.

 

“Yeah, I mean it’s been like a week…” you reply sarcastically with a laugh.

 

“I meant in a soccer jersey, dumbass,” she quips back.

 

“It’s weird to be back, you know?” you chuckle nervously.

 

 It feels great to be back with the team, but you know a lot can change over time, and you’re unsure what the atmosphere will be like.

 

“Nothing’s changed Kriegs,” Abby supplies, “only thing different this camp is a couple of new call-ups”.

 

You look at Heather, “new kids?” you question.

 

She looks up at you quickly, “Well…” she begins, but is interrupted by Sydney yelling into the locker room.

 

“Defence with Chris, the rest of you gotta check the board, and Ali you’re first in with physio,” she shouts, grabbing her cleats, backing out of the room.

 

You excuse yourself, and head out into the corridor, toward the medical rooms of the training facility. You approach the door and knock before opening.

 

“Hey Jo” you say, stepping inside.

 

“Germany!” the physio exclaims, taking you into a hug. “You looks so well,” she smiles.

 

“Thanks,” you blush, “I feel it, I’m glad to be back.”

 

She motions for you to sit down, and opens up your notes.

 

“So, you know the drill. Pia wanted you to check in if you had any worries. By the look of things I’m happy to clear you to full practice”, she informs you.

 

“That’s great,” you smile.

“Head onto field 1, that’s where defence is starting drills with Chris in twenty”, she continues. “And call back here if that knee begins to bother you!”.

 

“I will,” you grin, before standing up and leaving.

 

You walk back toward the locker room, keeping an eye out for any old faces.

You see her before she sees you. She is the last person you expect to be here, and she’s in full training gear. She looks a little thinner than you remember, but still undeniably beautiful. She’s smiling, probably at something Whitney is saying, when she glances up and catches your eye. The smile falls from her face, and she turns off into a doorway, out of sight.

***

_You hear her in the hallway, and see her flick the lights on._

_“You home?” she calls out. You don’t answer. Things have been rough between you the past couple of days, you’ve got a lot playing on your mind. You hear her head upstairs and into the shower, knowing that she is likely to see the empty drawer._

_Hell, it was more than the drawer that was empty. Your book of the nightstand is packed into your carry on, and your mascara is no longer littered around the bedroom. She begins to walk down the staircase, and you swear you can hear the pounding of her heart._

_You’re in the living room, with only a lamp switched on, standing in the dim light in front of the window._

_She glances at the couch, and notices 2 bags lying on it._

_“Alex,” she starts, her voice shaking a little._

_You turn around to face her, eyes watery and swollen from crying. Your mascara is smudged and your cheeks are red._

_“What’s going on?” she asks, although it seems to be obvious._

_“I’m going back to Frankfurt,” your voice is so quiet you were almost whispering._

_Ashlyn stands motionless, like every movement could scare you away before she could talk to you. Sit you down, talk to you, make you see that this is crazy, make you see that she loves you more than she has ever loved anything in her life._

_“What?” she asks. “What the hell?” she continues, with more power in her voice. She’d be damned if she lets you walk out like this, not without a fight._

_“We can’t keep doing this Ash..” you say, before new tears begin rolling down your cheeks. You shake your head and wrap your arms around yourself. “I need to focus on soccer, and,”_

_“So you have to leave?” Ashlyn yells at you. “You need to focus on soccer, we can clear out the guest room and you can have space for yourself. You don’t have to pack up and leave.”_

_You close your eyes and shake your head. “It’s not that easy. We can’t live like this and end up hating each other. End up with you hating me.”_

_Ash lifts her hands up to the air. “What the hell are you talking about? I could never hate you. I know I go on, about telling people, and being public. I don’t care. I just want you.”_

_“Ashlyn please,” you beg._

_In three long strides she is standing in front of you. She cups your face, and makes you look up to her. “Don’t do this”, she says._

_“I have to,” you whisper. “I’m so sorry, I love you.”_

_“Then why leave me?” she asks, clenching her jaw and tightening her hold on you, afraid that you might disappear._

_“It’s best for both of us,” you say. “You’ll see that later, you have a career of your own that is just beginning and I still have so much that I have to do.”_

_“My career?” Ashlyn drops her hands to her sides and takes a step back. “You want to leave? You give me a good reason why you want to leave and don’t tell me it’s because of my career,” she tells at you. “We’ve talked about this a million times and I told you every single time that you are not in the way. Us being together is not in the way. I love you, so don’t you dare blame this on my career.”_

_“Ashlyn,” you try again._

_“Is there someone else?” she asks, as if that could explain your behaviour. “A guy? Someone your Mom and sponsors approve of?”._

_“No, of course not.” You reply._

_“Then what is this about?” she asks for the hundredth time this evening._

_You sob, and look helplessly towards her, “We just can’t do this anymore.”_

_“Why not?” she asks, as calmly as she can._

_“We shouldn’t keep doing this to each other,” you explain. “We need to set each other free, before it really hurts._

_“Before it really hurts?”, she yells again. “What the hell has gotten into you Ali? I love you, you think this doesn’t hurt, then you’re an idiot.”_

_You flinch, and she moves in front of you and wraps her arms around you, not wanting to hurt you._

_“Don’t leave”, she begs. “Stay, we can talk, you can have space, just don’t” she takes a deep breath “please don’t leave me”._

_“I’m sorry” you whisper. You take her hands that are around your waist and pull them from your body. The doorbell rings, and you quickly wipe at your tears._

_“That’s my cab”, you say, before walking to the couch and grabbing your bags. “I’ve got most of stuff, if there’s anything left you can give it to my Dad to mail if its easier”._

_“Easier?” Ashlyn lets out a sarcastic laugh. She looks at you as you turn and head towards the door. She grabs your arm so that you’re face to face, and places her hand on your neck pulling your lips against hers. You kiss her deeply, but pull back as the doorbell rings once more. She rests her forehead against yours._

_“Please don’t hate me” you beg._

_“Please don’t do this” she begs back._

_“I love you,” you say quietly before pressing your lips to hers for one last time. “Please believe that, I really love you more than anything.”_

_You pick up your bag, and without looking back, you head out of the house and into the waiting cab._

 

_***_

 

 

“I tried to warn you,” a voice brings you back to reality.

 

“I didn’t know she got called up”, you say to HAO, your voice a little shaky.

 

“This is her first. She hasn’t mentioned you, I guess only a few really knew about the pair of you guys”.

 

“Yeah, maybe,” you say. “Doesn’t matter, we’re over.”

 

“Ali”, Heather tries.

 

“Seriously. It’s fine. She has a right to be here, I don’t care.”

 

You grab a water bottle, and head off onto the field.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a slow-burn...

You sit on the balcony of the hotel, sipping a beer in the sun, heading there straight after practice.

 

“I’m sorry none of us told you,” Whitney says, moving to sit next to you. “But to be honest, we didn’t know for sure that she’d be there”.

 

You chuckle, and let out a breath. “Don’t worry about it” you smile.

 

She moves her hand to your shoulder and squeezes it gently. “You wanna talk about it?” she asks.

 

“Not much to tell, she left, I cried for a couple of months, I got my self back into soccer and now I’m here.”

 

“Your journey to a call up wasn’t really what I was referring too,” Whit says while giving you a look that meant she was willing to sit here all night long if it meant you would finally open up to her.

 

“There’s not much to say about that either,” you offer. “I wasn’t what she wanted, us being together wasn’t what she wanted.”

 

“You seemed happy,” she replies.

 

“I was,” you say. “But she probably wasn’t, I don’t really know what happened. Maybe there was someone else. She said there wasn’t, but thinking back she was acting different for weeks.”

 

“Different how?” Whitney asks. “I don’t believe she was unhappy. The last time I saw the two of you she definitely wasn’t unhappy.”

 

“She was jumpy, she flinched every time I touched her. I tried talking to her, but she said she was fine.” You hate that she would always say ‘fine’, hell she would talk your ears off, but she refused to talk about what was going on in her head. “You want to know the biggest joke of it all?” you ask. “Chris has put us together in a knee rehab group for the rest of camp,” you laugh sarcastically. “We’re gonna be god-damn stretching partners.”

 

Whitney just looks away with a smirk, and sips her drink.

 

“You are really enjoying this sharing thing aren’t you?” you ask your friend.

 

“Well, let’s not pretend that you would have told me all this without the alcohol intake you’ve had this afternoon, but yeah I like talking to you. I hate to see you miserable.”

 

“I’m not miserable,” you protest. “She left and that’s that. I spent a year working my ass off. I’m here and I’m over her. If she thinks that us both being on the roster will change that then she thought wrong.”

 

“I really liked her,” Whitney says. “She made you happy. I worried a lot less about you when she moved in with you. I knew she would look after you.”

 

“Yeah, well look how that turned out”, you reply bitterly.

 

“You still love her,” Whitney says. It’s not a question, she just states it. She knows you well enough to know you still care deeply about Ali. She might have broken your heart, but she was the first one to open it up in the first place.

 

“I don’t even know who the hell she is,” you reply. “She’s obsessed with her image and publicity; I should have seen it coming.”

 

“Don’t say it like that Ashlyn. I lost my mind when I found out you were actually dating someone, that you were committed to someone. She took a risk too by being with you. I’m not saying that she did the right thing, but you don’t know her motives. I don’t believe that she just threw away your relationship for nothing.”

 

“Who’s side are you on?” you ask.

 

“Yours,” Whitney replies, calmly despite your temper. “I just think I got to know her over the time you were together. Something happened, and if you want her back you need to figure out what it is. Otherwise, you need to let her go.”

 

“I don’t want her back.”

 

“You’re lying,” Whitney tests.

 

“Fine, I don’t want her back,” you yell. “I’m tired, done. She made her decision and that’s that. It was what it was, I just need to look at her as a teammate and not an ex”.

 

“You think you can do that?” Whit asks, genuinely concerned for you. Normally you wouldn’t even talk about this to anyone, and yet here you were pouring your heart out.

 

“Of course I can,” you shrug.

 

“Because you’re Ashlyn Harris and you’re a badass?” she asks, rolling her eyes.

 

“Exactly,” you reply, grinning, before letting out a yawn. “I’m going to bed, got a big day of practice tomorrow.”

 

“Can’t wait, I can barely feel my legs after those sprints today,” Whitney groans, hauling herself up off of the chair.

 

You move to hug her. “Thank you Whit, I love you”.

 

“Yeah, sometimes you do,” she replies, hugging you back.


	3. Chapter 3

You walk back into the changing room the next day, and open up your locker and begin to get dressed for practice. When you finish tying your cleats you glance in the mirror, and honestly it feels like you’ve never been away.

 

“Looking good girl”, Hope says to you. “Nice to see you can still make the uniform look almost as good as I can.”

 

You smile and decide to fire back. “Yeah I’ve been practicing the ‘Solo Stare’ for months since it works so well with the ladies”.

 

“Shut up,” she mutters whilst starting to get dressed herself. “I didn’t see you at movie night yesterday..”

 

“Yeah, sorry. I was beat and just took a nap in my hotel room”, you reply.

 

“Yeah,” Hope says. “Are we losing you to the Germans again anytime soon or are you planning on sticking around?”

 

“We’ll see,” you say. “There is a lot going on. I’m not sure.”

 

Hope nods, before bringing up the subject you’re dreading. “So, you saw Harris here?”

 

“Yup”, you reply. “I knew she was doing well in the league so it was a possibility she would end up here. Who’s mentoring her since its her first camp?”

 

“Me,” she replies.

 

“Please tell me that you’re not giving her a hard time because of me?” you ask. You didn’t think Hope would do that, but you still want to check. No matter what happened between the two of you she shouldn’t have to face the consequences of it at work. She had the right to learn and develop like any other newbie, without personal stuff getting in between.

 

“Nope, told her the first day that I don’t care what happened between the two of you. Told her I expected her to be professional, and that’s that.”

 

“Good”, you mutter. “I’ll see you at team briefing”.

 

***

 

You don’t see much of her the next few days, as she is always partnered with HAO, and locked in defensive drills.

 

After the last session of the week you and Whitney head to the local bar to let off a bit of steam. As soon as you look around you spot her. She was wearing simple jeans and shirt, but still you can’t help but be in awe of her beauty. You immediately curse yourself and make your way further inside to order a drink.

 

You try to keep your eyes off her, but you can’t help but glance in her direction every now and then. You know she is doing the same thing because you can feel her burning gaze on you. You see a girl walk over to her and offer her a drink, and your blood starts to boil. You know you have no claim over her anymore, but you hate the idea of anyone else hitting on her. You’ve seen enough, and pick up your jacket. As you walk to the exit, you know she is following you. It’s the smell of her perfume.

 

“What do you need?” you snap, before she has the chance to say anything. You turn around and she is looking at you hurt, as if you were the one who left her behind. Like you were the one that broke her heart.

 

“I thought maybe we should talk?” she says. “I know this is weird, but you’re good. You’re gonna be on this team for a while, and we are going to have to work together”.

 

“Why did you come back Ali?” you ask. You don’t understand, last you heard she was perfectly settled on the other side of the world.

 

“There’s a new league starting, and I got a call. I guess I could help with publicity..” she mumbles. “You look good…a little thinner, but good”.

You shake your head and grit your teeth. “Let’s not do this Alex”. When you look up you see that she is fighting back tears. “You left okay? After everything that happened between us you broke it off”.

 

“I thought I was doing the right thing”, she says, sighing and closing her eyes.

 

“The right thing?” you say, bewildered.

 

“I’m sorry,” she says.

 

“Yeah, so am I,” you reply, turning around and leaving her alone. You need to get away from her. Even though she had hurt you, when you look at her you still feel the love you tried to push away for a year.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all enjoying this! :)

Ali sighed and rubbed her hand across her face. God she was bad at this, instead of impressing Pia she looked like she was fresh out of high school. The team were playing a scrimmage- one team with Hope and one team with Ashlyn. So far she hadn’t made a single save, every time a forward approached the box she choked.

 

Finally she shouted “Keeper’s” and charged to collect a looping ball into the area. All of a sudden she backed away, and it was left to Whitney to clear as the whistle blew.

 

“If you’re not gonna come for it, then why the hell did you shout?” Ali asked when Ash came to stand in front of her. She kept her voice professional, calm. Even if she did look incredible in that training jersey.

 

“It was just a mistake, the bounce of the ball threw me off”, Ashlyn explained. Ali looked at her and saw she was tense, she was embarrassed and she knew it.

 

“You were expecting this to be simple soccer?” Abby laughed. Ali looked at their teammate and signalled that she should shut it.

 

“It won’t happen again,” Ashlyn promised.

 

“You okay?” Ali asked.

 

“Yeah”, she replied, shrugging her shoulders.

 

“Yeah?” Ali asked, not convinced in the slightest.

 

Ashlyn nodded and took off toward the goal for the next half, Ali following her with her eyes.

 

“She hasn’t made a block yet Ali,” Abby said. Ali knew Ash would have to step up her game or she wouldn’t be called back anytime soon.

 

“I know, she’ll be okay,” Ali replied.

 

Only she wasn’t okay because she screwed up again and meant her and Ali’s team finished the game 7-0 down. Ali knew Pia would be seriously disappointed in her and she felt bad about it. She had everything to be a great goalkeeper, but obviously her head wasn’t in the right place. Ali should have told Coach that before they headed out onto the field, but she didn’t want to get involved if Ashlyn didn’t want her too. She shook her head, and followed the girls inside.

 

**

When they were back in the building Ali passed the locker room and opened the door. She just finished changing and was tying her boots when she walked in.

 

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Ali said.

 

When she looked up her eyes met Ali’s and she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. She looked down again and nodded. “Yeah, I know. I should’ve done better, I know. I don’t know what got into me, I just freaked.”

 

“You just got here, it’s okay to make mistakes,” Ali promised. She moved to leave the locker room, since she was the only one inside and the tension was obvious.

 

When she reached the door Ashlyn called out her name. She turned around and saw she was standing too. She had a helpless expression on her face, and Ali was reminded of the slight age gap between them. Ash was always acting like the responsible grown up, her childhood forced her to do so, but every now and then when they were together she would let her guard down. She remembered how she would love it when Ali would take care of her, bringing her breakfast for a change, that kind of thing.

 

“Ali, just…” she started. She looked lost for words and walked towards her. “Just thank you for not stirring up trouble for me.”

 

“Ashlyn I would never…” she began. She didn’t want to mess anything up for her. Sure she was heartbroken, but it was self-inflicted and she wasn’t out to cause any more pain.

 

“Just thank you,” she said before shrugging her shoulders. “I know you weren’t expecting me to be here.”

 

“It’s fine” Ali lied. “We’re both adults, we can make it work”. And with that she left the room.

 

**

_They had been on three dates and tonight was the third. Ali was a regular on the national team, and on the run up to the Olympics she had spent a considerable amount of time in the States at various camps. It wasn’t long before her path crossed with that of WPS Goalkeeper of the Year Ashlyn Harris. They had mutual friends, and the chemistry was undeniable. Ali picked out the restaurant, and since Ashlyn had paid for the previous dates Ali insisted this was on her. The place wasn’t anywhere fancy, but it suited them._

_“Hey,” Ashlyn said, while she stood up so she could kiss her. “You look stunning”, she said, noting the fitted blue blouse and jeans._

_“Thanks, you look good too,” Ali replied shyly._

_Ashlyn had noticed that before, every time she would compliment her she would turn red and quickly change the subject. She was shy about it and Ashlyn secretly loved it about her. She wasn’t someone who was aware of her beauty and used it to gain something from it._

_They ate dinner and while talking about their day. When Ali told her about a drill she had been working on she seemed genuinely interested. She wasn’t used to that, she didn’t ‘date’ a lot, but every other girl she had been with didn’t really want to hear about the technical side of soccer._

_“I want to play in Europe one day”, Ashlyn admitted._

_Ali was a little surprised by that. After everything she had achieved with the Flash it didn’t seem like the most expected step. “Yeah?” she asked keeping her eyes on her._

_“I think maybe it would be good for me. I would love to see other parts of the world and there’s a couple of clubs that keep emailing me”, she said smiling. “Maybe you think I’m an idiot” she quickly added, before blushing._

_“No, I don’t”, she promised. “If it’s something you want I’m sure you’ll be suited to it perfectly”. Ali interlaced their fingers on the table. “If you ever need any lessons in German..”_

_Ashlyn smirked, “I know a girl”._


	5. Chapter 5

_After she paid for dinner they walked to Ashlyn’s truck. “You want to come back to my place?” she asked. “It’s still early, we could have a drink or watch some TV.” Ash noticed the hesitation in her eyes and quickly spoke up again. “Or I can drive you back to Kyle’s, that’s fine too.”_

_She shook her head. “No, you’re right it’s early. Let’s go.”_

_Ashlyn helped her into her truck and walked around to get into the driver’s seat. While she was driving, she took her hand in hers._

_Ali had been to her house before, but only briefly so when she entered she gave her a tour and told her to get comfortable on the couch. When she came back from the kitchen with some beers, she sat down beside her. She flipped on the TV, and Ali laid her head on her shoulder._

_When Ash found a TV show she thought was funny, she put down the remote and put her arm around her. After about half an hour the show ended, and she sat up, straightening her back. Ali cupped her cheek and pulled her mouth down to reach hers. They had kissed before, but never went beyond that. They were both in different places, and this thing between them was supposed to be casual. Ash kept reminding herself that Ali lived in Germany, and even though she had told her she’d had girlfriends before, she didn’t want to do anything that would make her feel pressured or uncomfortable._

_When she slowly opened her mouth Ali let her tongue slip inside. Her hand went around Ashlyn’s neck, keeping her close, whilst the other moved to her waist. They stayed like that until the need for air became obvious. When they broke apart Ashlyn angled her head so she could reach her neck with her mouth. She gently nipped at her skin, and when Ali moaned she nudged her backwards, so that she was laying down._

_When she was on her back Ash moved to lie on top of her, and kissed her again. Ali kissed back with just as much passion, and guided her hand under the material of her shirt. Ash followed her lead and felt the soft skin of her stomach, and her abs that clenched under her touch. Ali’s hands moved to pop open the button of Ashlyn’s jeans, and she opened the zipper, but felt her tense a little._

_“I’m sorry”, she said with a flush on her cheeks. “It’s just..”_

_Ali silenced her with another kiss and used her hands to close her jeans again. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. This was fun, but you don’t want something serious. I’m sorry, I just wanted..” she mumbled._

_“Ali, stop,” Ashlyn said before taking her hands in her own. She looked hurt, rejected when she had stopped her. She brushed a strand of hair out of Ali’s face and kissed her softly on her lips. “You’re incredible. These past few dates have been incredible. I want this. Do you?” she asked. She didn’t want them to sleep together if that’s all it would be, a one-time thing- Ashlyn had feelings for the girl._

_“Yes,” she nodded. Ash kept her head in place with her hands so she could look her in the eye. There wasn’t any doubt in her expression, so she kissed her again._

_When she released her hands, Ali moved them to the hem of her shirt, and pulled it slowly over head and off Ashlyn’s body. She wrapped her legs around her waist, and Ash stood up, walking them towards the bedroom. When they reached it, she gently lowered her onto the bed._

_When Ali was lying down, Ash crawled on top of her and began peppering her neck with kisses. Her hands flew to her head and tangled themselves in her hair, keeping her mouth exactly where she wanted it. When she pulled back, Ashlyn obeyed and connected their lips instead._

_Ali grew impatient, and pushed Ashlyn onto her back, and straddled her. Her hair fell across Ash’s head like a curtain when she swept her tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She moved her hands down to her belt again, and this time there was no protest._

_Together they removed all of their clothes, and an hour later, they were entangled with each other- glistening in sweat. Ali kissed her lazily, and Ash ran her hands over tattooed ribcage._

_“You’re amazing”, she confessed._

_“You’re not too bad yourself, Princess,” she replied with a smile on her face. They made out for a few moments, before Ali rolled off of her. She laid down next to her, and placed her head on her chest, dragging her fingers over her bare stomach._

_“You okay?” Ashlyn asked, pressing a kiss to her temple._

_“I’m perfect” she mumbled sleepily, closing her eyes._

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves...

_Ali and Ashlyn were out together, they went to see a movie and after that they went to a bar for a drink. Neither of them knew the bar they were heading towards, but they didn’t really care._

_“Movie sucked,” Ali said as they walked._

_“Your taste in movies suck,” Ashlyn replied. “It was funny.”_

_“Well, you consider ‘sharknado’ a classic, so I guess that makes my point,” Ali laughed. She loved nights like this, just the two of them. She liked hanging with their friends, but it was still nice to have moments together in their hectic schedules._

_“Hey you told me liked it when we watched it!” Ashlyn protested._

_“Didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”_

_“Oh, and hurting my feelings is no longer an issue?” Ashlyn asked smirking. She loved teasing her, she always took the bait._

_“No, but experience has told me your ego is already big enough”, she teased back._

_Ali sighed and placed her head on her shoulder. “I missed you,” she confessed._

_“It’s been a pretty hectic week of practice, huh” Ash replied._

_“Yeah, and we’ve hardly seen each other.” Ali sighed. “Can’t you just come play for Frankfurt with me?” she whined._

_“We talked about this” Ashlyn said, stopping to pull her closer. “The season doesn’t start for a couple more weeks, and I don’t even know what’s happening with the Flash”._

_“I know, I’m just saying”, she replied. “Sometimes I just wish we could see more of each other”._

_“I think I saw quite a lot of you this morning,” Ash said, waggling her eyebrows._

_Ali smacked her chest and started laughing. “Yeah, well see if that happens again any time soon.”_

_“It will,” she said confidently._

_“That’s optimistic,” Ali replied, grinning._

_“Nah, that’s experience,” Ash whispered, gently lowering her mouth to hers. Ali tugged on her jacket, bringing her closer, letting her hands settle on the keeper’s waist. She was wearing a fitted black button down, with the sleeves rolled up, showing off her tattooed forearms. Ash never had to try too hard, but still managed to make Ali’s heart race._

_“Get a room,” someone muttered whilst trying to get past them. Ashlyn backed away from Ali and grinned. “That’s not a bad idea, what do you say Princess?”_

_“I say you promised me a drink,” she said before tugging on her arm and dragging her into the bar._

_When they found a table Ash walked to the bar to get them some drinks. Ali waited, the place was packed, so it took her a while to get back. When she returned, Ashlyn was rewarded with a deep kiss._

_“What was that for?” Ash asked when she backed away._

_“Just love you,” Ali mumbled, blushing._

_Ashlyn grinned and handed her the drink. They sat and talked about everything, from family to football. When Ali finished her drink, Ash headed back out to the bar for a refill. A strange guy came over, and quickly took her seat._

_“My girlfriend was sitting there,” Ali said in a polite voice, but her facial expression told the guy to get lost. She knew Ash hated it when guys hit on her. She knew it wasn’t a possessive thing, but more of a protective thing- Ali didn’t really give off a vibe that said she was into girls. Still though, she knew Ashlyn loved her, even though bringing her to say those actual words was a rare occasion._

_“Your girlfriend was stupid to leave a pretty little thing like you alone,” the man continued. “Maybe you need a man in your life.”_

_Ali scoffed and rolled her eyes. “She’s getting a drink and I think it would be best if you’re gone when she gets back.”_

_“I think I would like to get to know you better”, the guy said. “What’s your name gorgeous?”_

_“None of your business,” Ali replied. She really didn’t want to talk to the guy, sometimes she got a good laugh from guys hitting on her, but this guy came a little too close._

_“Oh playing hard to get?” he asked. “Just wait until you’re on your back in my bed, I bet I could get you to tell me everything about you then”._

_At that Ali grabbed her purse and Ashlyn’s jacket and walked away from the man, she wasn’t really in the mood for this. She knew things would only get worse if Ash saw a guy making her uncomfortable. She walked to the bar and placed her hand on her girlfriend’s back._

_“Can we get out of here?” she asked._

_Ashlyn looked at her and raised her eyebrows. “Something wrong?” she asked._

_“No, just changed by mind and I want to go home,” she said. “Can we go?”_

_“Yeah, of course”, Ash said. She walked away from the bar and took her coat from Ali._

_Before they got the chance to leave the bar, the man approached the pair again. Ali saw him coming and sighed, knowing Ashlyn would be pissed if he started anything. She deliberately kept her eyes off the guy, and put her hand around Ash’s waist. She hoped that wold be a signal for the guy to get lost, but obviously she was wrong._

_“Leaving already?” he asked, standing in front of her. He pushed her hair out of her face and Ali took a step back. The guy blocked her with his body and Ash immediately pushed herself in-between them._

_“I suggest you walk away right now” she warned._

_“Or else what? You gonna stand up and protect your piece of ass?” he mocked._

_Ali knew that was the wrong thing to say to Ashlyn. She made herself taller and tried to stare the guy down, but apparently he didn’t feel threatened at all. He pretended to walk away, but just when Ash seemed to relax again, Ali felt his hand on her ass._

_She saw the punch coming even before Ashlyn lifted her hand. The guy went straight to the floor and Ash grabbed Ali by the waist and pulled her with her, outside of the bar._

_“Ashlyn,” she yelled at her when they were outside. “You could have just walked away; you can’t go punching people because of stuff like this”._

_Ash didn’t even respond to her. She just held her by the waist as they walked to her truck with long, angry strides. Ali knew there was no point in starting an argument now- they were in the middle of the streets and a public fight was not what she needed._

_The truck was parked close to the bar, and it only took a minute or two to reach it. Ash opened the passenger side and released her hold on Ali._

_“Get in,” she said._

_“I’m not a dog Ashlyn, you can’t tell me what to do.” Ali said. She knew she was pushing her buttons, but she wasn’t some defenceless little girl who needed her to fight her battles. She would have been able to put that guy in his place, without her ‘help’._

_“Get in,” Ashlyn said again, clearly not leaving any room for discussion._

_“I think I’m going to walk home,” Ali said stubbornly. She knew Ash would never hurt her, but if looks could kill she would very much be dead at that comment._

_“Alex, get in the truck,” Ashlyn said, clenching her jaw._

_Ali saw some people looking at them, so she decided it was probably for the best. When she was seated Ashlyn slammed the door, before marching to the driver’s side and starting the engine. Neither of them spoke the entire way to Ashlyn’s apartment, Ali kept glancing at her and every time she saw her gripping the steering wheel harder._

_When she parked the car, Ali opened her door and got out immediately. She took a key from her purse and opened the door. She walked to the bedroom in a straight line and shut the door, before Ashlyn was even in the house._

_Ali took off her dress and shoes. This was not how she wanted the night to end, their night had been so perfect. She took off her underwear, the set she was hoping Ashlyn would appreciate, and turned on the shower._

_Their fights always started like this, both of them too mad to say a word to one another. Most of the time they would ignore each other until one of them broke down, either by yelling or apologizing. Ali had to admit that if someone started yelling it was mostly her, if someone apologized it was likely to be Ashlyn._

_When she was done with her shower she grabbed a towel and dried off. She grabbed an elastic and put her hair into a bun. She put the towel around her, before walking into the bedroom. She knew it was stupid, Ashlyn had obviously seen her naked, but she was pissed._

_Ashlyn wasn’t in the bedroom, so Ali dropped the towel, and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt._

_She knew she wasn’t going to be able to sleep, so she went downstairs. Ash was sitting on the couch watching hockey, but by the look on her face it was clear she wasn’t paying much attention to the game. Ali grabbed a water from the fridge, before walking back towards the couch. When she looked at the TV she noticed a group of players starting a fight._

_“Oh look,” she said. “Punching people. Guess I can see where you learned to do that.”_

_Ashlyn snorted, and refused to look at her._

_“Seriously, watch some more, you never know when it’ll come in handy again,” she pushed her a little further._

_“The guy pretty much called you a slut and grabbed your ass Ali, what the hell did you expect me to do?” Ashlyn yelled at her._

_“I don’t know? Maybe pretend I’m not some helpless teenager and let me handle it myself?”_

_“How would you have handled it?” Ash asked her._

_“I would have walked away or used some fucking words. You know those Ashlyn? Words? That means talking to people with your mouth instead of your fists!” she yelled back._

_“And you think he would have backed away if you asked him nicely?” Ashlyn asked. “God you’re so naïve”._

_“So you had to punch the guy?” Ali asked. “I can take care of my damn self”._

_“Yeah, you were doing a spectacular job,” Ash said. “But I’m not even going to have this discussion with you, because you always know everything and I know nothing. So let’s just say it: I was wrong. Because that’s what you want to hear right?”_

_“Not if you don’t mean it!” Ali exclaimed._

_“He was touching you Ali. For Christ’s sake, do you not understand why that would bother me? I’m supposed to be your girlfriend- not that anyone fucking knows!” Ash screamed back._

_“Of course I understand why it would bother you, I just hoped you had a little more faith in me and let me handle it by myself.” Ali shouted. She was so sick of Ash attacking her about her reluctance to be open to everyone about her private life. She loved her- why did it matter about telling anyone else?_

_“He was touching you Ali” Ash repeated. “Nobody touches you but me.”_

_“Oh so I’m your property now?” she asked. “Well, Ashlyn, is it okay if I go to bed? Because I’m a little tired and I have an early morning tomorrow. Or is there anything you need my body for right now?”. She knew she was being dramatic and immature, but she was nobody’s property._

_Ash threw her hands in the air and let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, you go sleep. Walk away, that’s what you do best anyway.”_

_Ali knew where that was coming from. Her and Ashlyn had often talked about their backgrounds and past relationships. Ali had confessed that she left for Germany straight from college to escape the pressure mounting on her to settle with her boyfriend. So this was an especially low blow._

_Ali was close to crying and turned to go to bed. She knew she wouldn’t fall asleep anytime soon, but she needed to get away from Ashlyn for a minute. When she entered the bedroom she took off her pants, and crawled under the covers, sobbing. The best part of an hour passed, and there was still no sign of Ash. She got out of bed and walked downstairs again._

_She was still sitting on the couch. She didn’t look up when Ali came in, which only made her feel worse. She softly sat down next to her and was silent for a minute. She put her hand on her shoulder and tried to get her to look at her._

_“I’m sorry,” Ali whispered, her voice hoarse. “I know you’re trying to protect me”._

_“If you want me to stand on the side-lines whilst you pretend to be with guys to please whomever, then I’m not that girl” Ashlyn started._

_Ali’s eyes widened when she said that. Even in her overprotective nature Ali was in love with Ashlyn and t is all she wanted._

_Ash noticed her fear and put her hand on her thigh. “This is new for me too. I have never felt like this before, and sometimes it drives me crazy”._

_Ali  nodded, and leaned in to kiss her._

_“I love you” Ashlyn whispered into her mouth. “And I’m sorry”._

_Ali climbed into her lap, and pulled their mouths together again. “Me too baby, me too”._


	7. Chapter 7

Ali walked out of the facility and the sight that met her made her heart sink. She saw Ashlyn leaning into the window of a truck driven by a brunette. Ashlyn hugged the girl, and passed her a key, before taking a step back.

 

Ashlyn had given her the key to her truck. She was never big on words, but she was big on actions, and by letting this girl drive her pride and joy it meant something.

 

All of a sudden the realisation kicked in. Ash wasn’t going to fight for Ali, it was stupid to have even expected it. Ali shook her head whilst Ashlyn turned around. For a moment the two of them stood looking at each other. They were only a couple of steps apart, and yet the distance seemed like an ocean.

 

“Hey”, Ashlyn said, blushing as if she’d been caught.

 

Ali was hurt by what she had just witnessed, and found it hard to be civil. “Ashlyn”, she replied, faking politeness.

 

“It’s not what it looked like Al”, Ashlyn tried.

 

“No,” Ali warned. “You can do whatever you want. I don’t care.” Ali turned and quickly walked away.

 

Ash stayed frozen to the spot, not really understanding what had just happened. She had been hooking up with a girl from college, nothing serious. It was strictly casual and both of them knew it. National team camp being in New York, where Megan was from, happened to be ideal- naturally the two got back in touch. When she saw Ali there she wanted to talk to her, but god she didn’t need her to see that. She wanted an excuse to talk to Ali, even if only for a moment. They had hardly interacted these past 3 days. She didn’t know why she had gotten so angry, but once again it proved to her that Ali Krieger was complicated.

 

She didn’t want complicated.

 

She couldn’t do complicated.

 

But maybe she did.

 

**

 

“Fuck,” Ali cursed when she sat down on a barstool in a bar a couple of blocks from the team hotel, demanding a drink.

 

Whitney sat down next to her and ordered a round. “Drinking your troubles away, Krieger?”

 

“Nope,” Ali said, popping the P.

 

“Looks like it.” Whitney grabbed a beer and a tequila, handing the latter to Ali. “You know Ashlyn is totally faking it with Meg, right?”.

 

“Meg as in, could be a Victoria’s Secret Model who drives Ashlyn’s truck, Meg?” Ali groaned, trying and failing to sound uninterested.

 

Whitney laughed. “Meg as in, UNC Meg who hooked up with Ash in college, but now they’re friends who have no romantic feelings at all for each other, Meg”.

“Looked pretty cosy to me”.

 

“Oh Ali, come on. You two are seriously the most frustrating people I have ever met.” Whit downed her beer and put her bottle back down on the bar. “Ashlyn is just trying to convince herself that she’s happy.”

 

Ali rolled her eyes and turned to face her. “Since when are you an expert on feelings?” she asked.

 

She sighed dramatically. “Go and get her back. I don’t like Megan, and apparently she’s easy..”

 

Ali choked on her drink, “What?” she spluttered.

 

“Get your mind out of the gutter Ali, Jesus” Whitney explained. “I talked to Ashlyn when we first realised you were back. She told me she wasn’t complicated, she’s easy, fun to be around- that kind of thing”.

 

Ali looked down sadly, maybe Ashlyn really was over her.

 

“But she probably is easy as well” Whitney chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, before ordering another round.

 

**

 

Ali stumbled out of the bar, Whitney had left an hour or so ago, but Ali got chatting to the bartender and ended up staying until closing. She heard the sound of a car horn, and jumped as a truck approached her.

 

“Is that Miss Alexandra Krieger stumbling through the streets drunk?” a cocky voice teased.

 

Ali groaned, and placed a hand on a building to steady herself. “I am not drunk” she slurred, and began to sway along the sidewalk.

 

“Let me give you a ride,” Ashlyn began, still talking out of her window at the brunette.

 

“I’m okay, the fresh air will do me good,” Ali protested.

 

“It’s going to rain,” Ash answered. “Let me drive you back Ali, please.”

 

Ali was kinda shocked to hear Ashlyn use the word ‘please’, that wasn’t something she expected to come out of her mouth. “I don’t know,” she said doubtfully. “Your girlfriend might get mad…”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend Alex” Ashlyn explained, leaning over the console and opening the passenger side door.

 

Ali got in, mumbling incoherently to herself. “Thanks”, she offered.

 

The ride to the hotel was quick, and the air was filled with an uneasy silence. They pulled up to the parking garage, and Ash switched off the engine. Ali turned to open the door, but felt Ashlyn’s hand on her knee, stopping her.

“She’s not my girlfriend Al”, she offered. Her tone was soft, and her eyes were pleading.

 

It was stupid but Ali felt like her knee was on fire, she turned to face her. “It’s okay” she mumbled, biting back the lump in her throat.

 

Ash reached out and gently wiped under her eye, catching a stray tear, and let her hand rest upon Ali’s cheek. Her breathing hitched, and she instinctively leaned in, closing the gap between them so that they were almost touching.

 

Their foreheads rested against one another’s, and Ash broke the silence. “God I miss you”, she whispered.

 

The feeling of her lips merely centimetres from her own broke Ali from her trance, and she pulled back. She scrambled for the door, and ran into the hotel, hoping Ashlyn didn’t hear the ‘I miss you more’ she had whispered back.


End file.
